


And if ...?

by nine3rds



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Comfort, Eventual Romance, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Light Angst, M/M, Pining Choi Yeonjun, Post-Break Up, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, TaeJun Roomates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:56:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28532532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nine3rds/pseuds/nine3rds
Summary: “Yeonjun-hyung,” Beomgyu asked, “Have you ever felt a song so strong that you couldn’t play it?”The question, of course, took Yeonjun by surprise. He blinked a few times as he tried to think of the words to say but Yeonjun was always so clumsy with his words. For all the grace that a dancer should have, his words fumbled and tripped over themselves.A dry laugh came from Beomgyu, “We broke up, you know.” His eyes were glassy, fogged over with unspoken emotions – the song so strong that he couldn’t play it. “I think, we’ve been broken up for a two weeks now but I didn’t know how to tell anyone,” his voice was soft, more tired than hurt. “It just didn’t work anymore. I grew distant.”
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	1. Between the conversations

It was obvious. He _was_ obvious, Yeonjun knew that.

“Uhh …,” he started, obviously unsure of where this was headed. If there was any moment where he wished someone would randomly barge in and interrupt, it would be now. Unfortunately, life was not going to humor him any further. Yeonjun cleared his throat and said, “You play guitar good.” _Pause_. “Well, you play guitar well,” he corrected himself. The flush in his cheeks complimented the pink of his hair nicely.

“Thanks,” Beomgyu smiled up at Yeonjun and then nodded, “Thanks, Hyung. I didn’t think that anyone was listening.” His laugh was light, music to Yeonjun’s ears.

“I was just passing by,” Yeonjun lied so well that most people would never even know. He was supposed to be headed to the studio soon, but he knew whenever Beomgyu felt troubled, he’d go to the nearby park. Every time Beomgyu went to the park, Yeonjun would follow right after and be right beside him – _It’s okay if you ask Hyung to carry your burdens, don’t worry_. “I didn’t expect to see you here,” he lied as he took a step forward and gestured to the empty seat next to Beomgyu.

Beomgyu nodded and shifted slightly to make room for the older man. He leaned back against the bench, letting his guitar lean against him as he sat in silence.

There was comfort in their silence. An unspoken promise so loud that it was deafening.

“Yeonjun-hyung,” Beomgyu asked, “Have you ever felt a song so strong that you couldn’t play it?”

The question, of course, took Yeonjun by surprise. He blinked a few times as he tried to think of the words to say but Yeonjun was always so clumsy with his words. For all the grace that a dancer should have, his words fumbled and tripped over themselves.

A dry laugh came from Beomgyu, “We broke up, you know.” His eyes were glassy, fogged over with unspoken emotions – the song so strong that he couldn’t play it. “I think, we’ve been broken up for a two weeks now but I didn’t know how to tell anyone,” his voice was soft, more tired than hurt. “It just didn’t work anymore. I grew distant.”

Yeonjun looked over at Beomgyu and put an arm around the younger boy to pull him into a hug. He was may have tripped over his words all the time, but sometimes, a hug said more than the words Yeonjun could have picked. _I’m here, Beomgyu. Hyung is here for you._ He held Beomgyu, hugged the younger man as tightly as he could. _It’s okay. It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. Hyung will make sure you’re okay_. Gently, he rubbed Beomgyu’s back; a soft caress that tried to say the words that Yeonjun couldn’t.

They sat there in a silent embrace.

“Thanks, Yeonjun-hyung,” Beomgyu said as he pulled away gently. He brought the back of his hand up and rubbed it against the tears that wanted to fall. He sniffled but smiled at Yeonjun, “You should go though. Aren’t you going to be late to the studio?”

“Ah, shit,” Yeonjun forgot about the studio. He was supposed to teach new choreography to the students today. “If I’m late fifteen minutes, they’re going to leave,” Yeonjun whined as he stood up from where he sat. He knew all too well that the students would actually – he and Beomgyu had always been in the forefront of that campaign when they were in college. “If I’m late, I’ll text you! We can get something to eat.”

“Just go already! Text me if you’re late, hyung!” Beomgyu called out as Yeonjun started to run, “Get there safe, Yeonjun-hyung!”

* * *

Yeonjun stared at Taehyun, he blinked a few times before he shook his head. His shoulders moved up and down in a shrug, “Unless you’re asking me to seduce whoever you’re giving this to with dance, I don’t think I can help you with anything, Taehyunnie.”

As expected, Taehyun’s expression was annoyed mixed with amusement. Yeonjun never understood how the younger man could blend those two emotions together, but he did it well. Taehyun looked up at Yeonjun and shook his head before he set the pages down. “I wasn’t asking you to do anything with it, Yeonjun-hyung,” Taehyun said as he looked back up at him, “I was asking if you found Beomgyu-hyung earlier. He wasn’t answering any of my texts the earlier.”

Yeonjun walked away from Taehyun and took the seat across him. Their shared kitchen table wasn’t small, but with all of his roommate’s books and papers scattered across it, there was never much room. It never made sense to Yeonjun why Taehyun brought so much work from the research lab home, but then again, the younger man always burned with a passion that most people could never fathom.

“They broke up,” Yeonjun finally spoke up. He glanced over at Taehyun, just for a moment before he leaned back in his seat. His eyes fixated on the light fixture and the light coat of dust the two of them never found the time to clean. There was a small noise of curiosity from Taehyun that prompted Yeonjun to continue. “He was at the park again, guitar and all. Two weeks, they’ve been broken up for two weeks,” He paused, “I think he was embarrassed to tell us.”

“Why would anyone be embarrassed about that?” Taehyun’s usually calm tone held a bit of agitation, “If anything, that’s something he should have told us right away. Beomgyu-hyung never makes sense.”

It was moments like this where Yeonjun realized that the inexperience of the Laboratory Researcher trounced all of his intelligence. It was cute, albeit sad – to be so brilliant in the world of science but to be so inexperienced in the world of emotions and feelings. He hoped that Taehyun would never have to experience the troubles of heartbreak.

Yeonjun was _too_ familiar with it.

“He just needs time,” Yeonjun explained, “Everyone goes through heartbreak differently. Beomgyu just needs time to figure himself out.” _And time to figure out that song so strong that he couldn’t play it_. He placed his elbows on the table and propped up his chin in his hands. The thoughts in Yeonjun’s mind furrowed into his brows and slowly trickled into the rest of his face before he nodded at Taehyun, “I’ll call him.”

* * *

There are few people who could threaten the brightness of the stars. If Yeonjun was asked, he would happily admit that Beomgyu could easily put them to shame.

“No, Hyung,” Beomgyu put his hand up in front of him. There was a soft giggled that came as he shook his head, “That’s too much. Too much. We have work tomorrow. _You_ have to teach children.”

“I’ll put a movie on,” Yeonjun teased as he poured another shot glass for Beomgyu, “I’ll tell them we’re going to take an easy day and have them dance to a Zumba video or something. They could make do with the ‘ _Slide to the left. Slide to the right._ ’ Instructions for a day. Just, come on. It’s a waste if we don’t finish it. Soobinie even went out of his way to get it for you.”

The surprise ‘ _divorce_ ’ dinner at Beomgyu’s apartment started with the five of them. They ambushed Beomgyu – four of them shoved past the delicately frame man with drinks, meat and all sorts of delicious things to celebrate what they kept insisting was Beomgyu’s divorce. Hueningkai did his best to explain why this was a divorce dinner – _“The baker kept asking Yeonjun-hyung who the macaroon anniversary cake was for and Yeonjun-hyung,” Hueningkai’s story was stifled by unsuppressed giggles, “Yeonjun-hyung looked her dead in the eyes and said, ‘It’s not an anniversary. It’s a divorce.’ She gave him a discount for it! It was so funny!_ ”

Dinner went by too quickly. Yeonjun and Soobin attempted to grill the meat initially, but when the pair of them started to shriek that it was getting too burnt, Beomgyu had to step in. Yeonjun may have been their usual chef for homecooked meals, but he was a fool when it came to meat – no one could take Beomgyu’s crown for that.

An hour went by.

Two hours.

Then three.

By the time the fourth hour ended, Soobin decided he needed to go because of work. At the mention of work, both Hueningkai and Taehyun groaned – the two of them had been assigned early shifts at the lab they worked at. As easily as the five of them entered Beomgyu’s apartment, they left. Yeonjun offered to stay and help Beomgyu clean the mess that they made. With everything cleaned, drinks were the only thing to focus on.

“Thank you,” Beomgyu’s voice carried across the hushed apartment. The two of them sat on the floor of the small living room. Yeonjun gave a glance over to the younger man who continued, “I think I needed that. Do you know how many times I played The Used? I’m sure my neighbors hate me by now.”

“Heartbreak does that to you,” Yeonjun looked over at Beomgyu and gave him a sympathetic smile. “You think you can handle it all on your own because you don’t want to make anyone else upset, but all that does is make you lonely.” It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. Not to Yeonjun, he knew it too well. His heart had been broken too many times.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be lonely again,” Beomgyu admitted with a smile, “I’ve got Hyung.”

There was a secret in that smile that Yeonjun wished he could unlock. Perhaps, he could pretend it was the alcohol that inhibited his actions – he could easily lean in and taste that secret. Perhaps, he would step up and push himself to actually do what he wanted. …but Yeonjun wouldn’t. His relationship with Beomgyu was important to him. It took time to build up this level of comfortable and it took Yeonjun even longer to build up a level of ease to the boy who took his heart. It took time to heal from the invisible heartbreak that Beomgyu had caused but not known.

That was the problem of being clumsy with words, of not being able to express what he wanted. No one knows, so no one asks. Beomgyu doesn’t know and right now, Yeonjun decided to leave it at that.

_What do you do when you feel a song so strong that you couldn’t play it_?

For Yeonjun, he let it fall to silence. Some things should be left in the pauses of silence between conversations, buried in the soft lulls between their laughs and hidden in the bottom of his heart.

“Come on, Beomgyu,” he laughed, “We still have a half a bottle of soju left and I’m not going to finish it on my own. You have to drink it with me.”


	2. Between the Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know you should be happy that I’m not moping around,” Beomgyu said as he stared at Soobin matter-of-factly, “I could be making you listen to Ohio is for Lovers right now!” He teased but then he closed his eyes and started to sing, “ _Hey there, I know it's hard to feel. Like I don't care at all where you are and how you feel ~ With these lights off as these wheels, keep rolling on an—_ ” His emotional serenade ended when Soobin put a piece of barbecue in his mouth.
> 
> “If you don’t stop singing, I will eat everything without you,” Soobin threatened the younger man. He didn’t have to add anymore to the threat since Beomgyu grabbed the meat off the grill.

“You know, you could at the very least try to look sad,” Soobin said as he pointed his chopsticks at Beomgyu. Quickly, he aimed his chopsticks at the meat on the grill – he was so thankful that the person who suggested a KBBQ night was the one person who could cook it. “I mean,” Soobin mumbled between bites, “Most people are upset when they break-up.”

Beomgyu shrugged at him and started to turn over the meat. He smacked Soobin’s chopsticks with his tongs, “It’s not ready yet.” Though, the more Beomgyu thought about it, the more it was right – most people were upset after a break-up …and he was. For a little bit. “I don’t know, I think ….everyone expects me to be sadder than I am, but …like, I laid in bed for a few days and listened to all of my emo-playlists,” Beomgyu shrugged again, “I don’t know? I’m not sad anymore?”

“That’s weird,” Soobin decided as he stole a piece of meat of the grill. He stuck his tongue out at Beomgyu before he ate it, “Like, you’re not even sad? Not even a little bit?”

“I _was_. Keyword, _was_. I don’t know, I just got over it pretty quickly,” Beomgyu admitted. He felt bad for not feeling as sad as everyone expected, but after he told Yeonjun about it, everything felt better? It felt like the weight was taken off his shoulders. The entire relationship felt like an anchor that just dragged his entire being down; his dreams, his hopes, his feelings …everything just felt bogged down. “I think I’m okay now,” he admitted again, “I talked to Yeonjun-hyung about it an—”

“You told Yeonjun-hyung?” Soobin asked, an eyebrow raised at Beomgyu, “You told Yeonjun-hyung about your break-up?”

The sizzle of the meat covered the roll of Beomgyu’s eyes before he nodded. He put meat on Soobin’s plate and then onto his. “He was the first one I told,” Beomgyu explained, “I mean, I didn’t go out of my way to tell him. He kind of …he went to the park where I was playing guitar and just checked up on me. I kind of just told him …”

“… and then we had that _divorce party_ for you,” Soobin rose an eyebrow at him. His shoulders rose and fell before he rose his hands in the universal gesture for ‘I don’t know’. “It seemed sus to me that Yeonjun-hyung went out of his way to do all that _and_ **then** ,” Soobin stressed, “Taehyun, Huening and I all left and it was just the two of you …”

Beomgyu knew what Soobin was implying and then he rolled his eyes at the older man. “We didn’t do anything except finish the bottle of soju. Yeonjun-hyung had work the next day. He had to choreograph his students.” …although, Beomgyu was quite upset about that. If there was any time that he wished he wasn’t a coward, it would have been that one.

“I’m kind of surprised.”

“Why?”

“You and Yeonjun-hyung rarely have that sort of alone time together,” Soobin looked over at Beomgyu and then stole the meat from his plate. He put the food in his mouth and ate it so happily, “But then again, it’s Yeonjun-hyung. He would have stopped you either way.”

“Especially since I just broke up with my ex,” Beomgyu reminded. That was the problem with his Yeonjun-hyung: he was _too_ good of a person to try anything. “Besides, it’s not like Yeonjun-hyung is even interested in me. Also, why are you bringing this shit up right now? I literally just got out of a break-up, idiot.”

“You told Yeonjun-hyung first. You started it,” Soobin rolled his eyes, “Give me that.” With the quick snap of his chopsticks, Soobin stole a piece of meat off the grill. There was no need for any signals on eating, he just chomped down on the piece and ate it happily.

“You know you should be happy that I’m not moping around,” Beomgyu said as he stared at Soobin matter-of-factly, “I could be making you listen to _Ohio is for Lovers_ right now!” He teased but then he closed his eyes and started to sing, “ _Hey there, I know it's hard to feel. Like I don't care at all where you are and how you feel ~ With these lights off as these wheels, keep rolling on an_ —” His emotional serenade ended when Soobin put a piece of barbecue in his mouth.

“If you don’t stop singing, I will eat everything without you,” Soobin threatened the younger man. He didn’t have to add anymore to the threat since Beomgyu grabbed the meat off the grill.

As the two of them dove into their food, that song from the radio was the only thing that kept their dinner from being hushed. Despite normally being loud together, the two of them enjoyed their food in quiet. Just like always, Beomgyu finished eating first and broke the silence.

“I have to rewrite my songs,” Beomgyu said, an unfortunate frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. His lips pressed together in mild annoyance; his brows followed suit, knitted with the obviously growing annoyance. “My deadline’s in a month and I have to rewrite all of my songs.”

Soobin looked at him. His eyebrow quirked over to Beomgyu, “What do you mean rewrite all of your songs, Beomgyu? You literally spent like how many months working on them for your interview submission. What do you mean you need to rewrite them?”

“I never told you why we broke up in the first place …,” Beomgyu’s expression shifted from calm to frustrated before he just sighed heavily, “So …”

* * *

The whispers tickled Yeonjun’s ears. He was in the front of the studio, half-way through explaining the new choreography when he heard the voices of his students. His dance students whispering wasn’t new to him but there was a light, giddiness that was in his student’s whispers; he didn’t mind them talking once in awhile, but what he did mind was if they were gossiping.

“Guys,” Yeonjun said as he turned around from where he stood. He had a hand on his hip as he looked at them, “Why are you guys whispering? If it’s gossip, you guys have to ---Beomgyu?”

The slight annoyed tone in his voice lifted the moment he saw that wavy haired man. Beomgyu raised a hand and waved at Yeonjun slightly; Yeonjun let out a soft chuckle and waved back. He clapped his hands together and said, “Alright, okay. We’re going to take ten. I’m going to talk to my friend and you’re all going to just do whatever you need to.”

“Your _cute_ friend,” one of his students said boldly said outloud.

Yeonjun laughed as he nodded in agreement. Then pointed at the student, “Yeah, I know he is but he’s not a depraved criminal. So, no. Don’t hit on him. None of you hit on him.”

“But teacher,” the students started to whine, “You never bring your friends here and when they do show up, they’re always cute. Why are you always surrounded by cute boys?”

“Because I’m a cute guy,” Yeonjun said with confidence.

His students started to laugh and tried to turn their attention to Beomgyu. A few students were bold enough to try asking Beomgyu for his number – which was never going to happen, regardless of what any of Yeonjun’s dance students thought.

“Underaged. All of you,” Yeonjun pointed at all of them and scoffed. He clapped his hands together and then pointed at each of them, “Date each other. Go.” He looked at them as he dropped the playfulness and then seriously suggested, “You guys should take a break though. Please go get hydrated. If you didn’t bring something to drink, you know I always have free drinks and snacks in the breakroom.”

As Yeonjun approached Beomgyu, he pointed to his office door. Beomgyu nodded and entered. He grinned at Yeonjun and comment, “You were always so good with people.”

“What can I say, I’m just a lovable guy,” Yeonjun said as he shut the door behind him. He reached for a clean towel by his desk as he gestured for Beomgyu to take a seat anywhere. Yeonjun dabbed the towel against his face, trying to stop the sweat from dripping. He nodded toward Beomgyu, “You should have told me you were coming. I could have cut my lesson short and made them watch a movie or something.”

Beomgyu cheekily sat on the chair behind Yeonjun’s desk. He leaned back and forth before he grinned, “Ergonomic. You’ve gotten wise in your old ways, Yeonjun-hyung.”

“If my students weren’t able to hear, I would punch you right now,” Yeonjun decided as he took a seat on the sofa across from his desk. He laughed, “This is your first time here. But, this is it. My sanctuary.”

Yeonjun taught at a very popular dance studio. He was one of the few main dance instructors; originally, he was only supposed to teach a few times a semester but with the way gossip worked through students, Yeonjun became popular so quickly. The waitlists for his dance lessons were so long that parents would storm the dance studio with demands that Yeonjun open up more time-slots for their kids. There were talks of entertainment companies coming and going with choreography requests from Yeonjun, but if there were, he had never mentioned them to anyone. Not yet, at least.

“Your students adore you, I hope you know that, hyung,” Beomgyu pointed at him, “Like, I’ve never in a million years believed that there could students so happy to be in a class. Even if it was dance.”

“I told you, Beomgyu, I’m just a very lovable guy,” Yeonjun insisted, “But honestly, I just enjoy it. It’s fun seeing people chase after their dreams, you know?”

There was a soft smile on Beomgyu’s lips as he listened to Yeonjun talk. He nodded at the end of Yeonjun’s words, “Yeah, even better because you’re helping them achieve it.”

“Not really, it’s all them,” Yeonjun looked over to the door before he turned his attention back to Beomgyu, “What’s up though? Did something happen? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I just got off work earlier than I expected. The studio I was recording in was in the area and I remembered that your dance studio was here. I was going to call you, but it seemed easier to just come over. Sorry for not letting you know ahead of time, hyung,” Beomgyu puffed his cheeks into a pout and then offered, “After your class, do you want to grab dinner?”

Yeonjun’s eyes flickered and snapped over to Beomgyu. That was unexpected but pleasant. He nodded, “Yeah, sure. I’d love to. That would be great, actually. I’m usually starving after work and Taehyun and I haven’t gone grocery shopping yet. Between me here and Taehyun at the lab, our fridge is terrifying to open. It’s so eerily empty.”

Beomgyu laughed at Yeonjun. It was one of those hearty laughs that caused Beomgyu’s eyes to turn into soft crescents. He snickered at Yeonjun, laughing with such lightness that it left Yeonjun flustered. “That’s really hard to believe considering how much you eat, hyung,” Beomgyu chimed.

“I know, why do you think it’s been so hard for me,” Yeonjun dramatically put a hand on his chest and grinned. He leaned to the side and peaked at the clock behind Beomgyu, “Oh shoot. Ten minutes go by so quick.”

“Already?”

“Yeah, too much fun between you and me,” Yeonjun rose his eyebrows up at Beomgyu before he grinned again. He stood up and suggested, “You could either stay here and just chill. Or you could take a seat in the in back of the studio and watch me in my natural habitat.”

“The latter sounds good. I haven’t seen you dance in awhile. I miss it,” Beomgyu’s voice softened at the last three words. He licked the bottom of his lip and immediately looked away. He leaned back into Yeonjun’s ergonomic office chair and then forward, getting himself to his feet.

When Yeonjun reached for the door knob, he looked over at Beomgyu and whispered, “They’re by the door.” He counted a few seconds before he pulled the door open as his students scrambled to get way from it. “Tsk, tsk,” Yeonjun shook his head as he waved his index finger at them, “You guys. You know better than to eavesdrop with your ear against the door. This isn’t a k-drama, kids.”

The students grumbled as they got to their feet. They all shuffled from the door and headed to their spot – plenty of them were back at whispering and wondering if their teacher and Beomgyu were more than just friends. They wondered in silence until one of the students boldly asked, “Are you going to introduce your friend to the class?”

“You guys want to meet Beomgyu?” Yeonjun looked at them with an eyebrow raised, “I mean, only if he wants to be introduced to you guys. I don’t know if I should. You’re all so nosy.”

Beomgyu nodded at Yeonjun, then shrugged, “Why not? I don’t mind.”

Yeonjun gestured for Beomgyu to walk to the front with him. As Beomgyu followed, it was no surprise that eyes went on the younger man; it was hard for Yeonjun not to keep looking at him. If there was any day that Yeonjun should hide what he felt, today would be the perfect day to do that.

“Since you all want to know so badly,” Yeonjun put at arm around Beomgyu’s shoulders, “This is Korea’s future number one producer, Choi Beomgyu. He’s incredibly talented and you’re all very lucky to be in his presence before he becomes internationally know and I’m lucky enough to have him in my life.” Yeonjun could feel himself start to ramble. There were so many words he could say about Beomgyu but he had to tip-toe around them and just leave everything at an easily level of friendliness. “But yes, this is Beomgyu. Now, I know he’s very handsome but you’re all going to need to ignore him and focus on me and the choreography. Three weeks until showcase, kids.”

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Beomgyu spoke with that voice as soft as honey, but as warm as home, “Yeonjun-hyung’s being incredibly kind, but I _am_ hoping to be a good producer. Maybe one day, he’ll let me produce the music for one of your showcases.” Beomgyu looked over at Yeonjun and gave him a kind glance wrapped with a warm smile. They shared that look for a second before he looked back to the student, “You’re all very lucky though. I don’t think there’s any one better than Yeonjun-hyung at dancing. So, you’re learning from the best.”

If Yeonjun could rank the moments of happiness that filled his heart with such joy, this would be in the top ten. Without a doubt. He looked over at his students and then back over at Beomgyu. The smile that Beomgyu gave him, Yeonjun returned that with one just as warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much to my surprise, I struggled writing this chapter. I have the majority of this fic plotted and roughly outline, but I have always struggled writing romance. So, I apologize if it seems choppy or messy at points. It's always been a challenge for me but I'm hoping to overcome it as I write this fic.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for joining us for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Hopefully, I can get the next chapter out faster than I did this one. Thank you for your patience with me!
> 
> See ya, next chapter ~


End file.
